Resilient Workers
In the workplace, setbacks abound - the coveted promotion
that went to an outside candidate, a mediocre performance
evaluation.
Can you bounce back from these types of upsets? Can you
work with the new manager after your great boss got
promoted? Can you rally after being laid off or fired?
Everyone experiences varying degrees of adversity during
their careers: periods of fear, vulnerability or upset. The
ability to deal with, overcome, learn from and in some cases,
be transformed by this adversity is resilience.
Edith Henderson Grotberg, a US psychologist, says being
resilient is not a special trait evident in only certain types of
people. She believes everyone can become resilient and
that resilience can be promoted in the workplace.
Cultivating resilience is helped by maintaining external
supports that promote the trait (having a trustworthy friend or
family member), developing inner strengths to deal with
adversity (the ability to be calm and good-natured),
developing interpersonal skills and coming up with new
ideas and new ways to do things.
Besides having a stable family and a good friend or role
model, how can workers boost their own resiliency? The
answer is to practise how resilient people cope:
Practise Being Likable, Calm and Good-Natured.
You don't have to see yourself as affable and relaxed to
apply these skills. Try smiling at people and greeting them
when you see them. If you are naturally outgoing already,
be sure to communicate acceptance to the people you
interact with daily. Make sure you tell people when you are
grateful, happy with something they did, or that you like
them. People like to help and team up with positive,
optimistic people.
Avoid becoming impatient with colleagues. This is easy to
do during times of stress or conflict. Consciously calm down
before entering a stress-filled meeting. Try to project a sense
of calm. People who anger easily find dealing with adversity
even harder. If you can practise approaching most
situations calmly, you will find it easier when tensions run
high.
Think About the Worst And Plan For It.
If you suffer a financial setback, how are you going to handle
it? What is your back-up plan? Do you have enough money
to live on for six months if you should lose your job? Be
prepared to deal with adversities. Life has a way of
interfering with our goals. We can't anticipate all of the
difficulties we may face, but we can plan for some of the
more frightening ones. What if the new job doesn't work out
after the probationary period is over? What will you do?
Planning for the worst-case scenario doesn't make you a
pessimist. It helps you become more resilient in the face of
upset.
Respect Yourself
Many difficulties arise at work when staff feel disrespected
by customers, colleagues or a supervisor. Feeling taken for
granted or taken advantage of can lead to resentment, yet it
is almost inevitable that you will experience some form of
disrespect during your career. How you deal with it will help
you remain resilient in the face of humiliation, ingratitude or
prejudice, for example. Staff who cope well with
disrespectful situations believe hurtful circumstances or
people cannot take away their self-respect. They find ways
to communicate their sense of self-respect to others, from
excusing themselves from the room when being denigrated
to using humour to handle gossip.
Care About Others
Resilient people try to see things from the other person's
point of view. When dealing with a difficult workplace
relationship, for example, it is important to try to empathize
with the other party. Someone who's critical of your work is
perhaps struggling with insecurity about her own role.
Someone who's burned out and cynical might seem
disinterested in your idea. Think about what else (besides
wanting to hurt you) could be going on in your colleague's
life. Trying to see if adversaries are facing difficulties can
depersonalize a situation.
Work On Being Optimistic and Hopeful
It may seem counterintuitive to adopt an optimistic outlook
when you're feeling down but research indicates that people
can "try on" new ways of seeing things. Start telling yourself
that things will work out somehow if you try your best. Once
again, you may not believe it at first, but experimenting with
being hopeful won't hurt. This is especially true when you
are engaged in a frustrating job search or are swamped at
work.
Stick To It
Practise sticking to a task or project. Persistence is
important when cultivating resilience. Refusing to give up
makes it more likely that you will overcome obstacles. If you
know you can make a commitment, see it through and
celebrate your achievements, the next time your job sends
you a curve ball, you'll know you have the fortitude to deal
with it.
Laugh
Trying to see the funny side of a difficult situation makes
people resilient. Humour can reduce tension, lighten a mood
and shift negative feelings, especially when we laugh at
ourselves. Beware of taking your role at work too seriously.
Have a laugh at your own expense. Humour helps staff
remain non-defensive and aids in keeping perspective. If we
can laugh at our foibles and the things that get under our
skin, we're better prepared when more painful events occur.
Practise Telling The Truth
This doesn't mean being brutally honest which usually
translates into trying to convince someone else of the merits
of our position by putting them down. Use a cautious
approach whenever you feel the urge to tell someone "how I
really feel". Truth telling is different from brutal honesty.
Finding the truth in a situation and communicating it to
others increases resiliency. For example, if you are finding a
co-worker 's unreliability is interfering with your ability to get
the job done, tell the truth: "I'm feeling frustrated with the
job especially when I can't add your part, because it's not
done yet. What can we do about this?"
Ask Yourself "What Could I Learn From This?"
You may wish you didn't have to learn anything from difficult
situations but being willing to consider that adversity can be
an excellent teacher will help you cope. What people learn
from trouble at work can include something new about
themselves (I can endure discomfort until resolution occurs),
their abilities (I can speak the truth), or their values (I take
short cuts when I shouldn't). Sometimes wisdom is gained
and lessons can include ways to deal with similar situations
when they occur.
Resilient people aren't necessarily "nothing gets to me"
types. They feel upset when bad things happen. What sets
them apart is, they rebound, keeping their spirit and healthy
outlook intact.
Dr. Jennifer Newman and Dr. Darryl Grigg are registered
psychologists and directors of Newman & Grigg Psychological and
Consulting Services Ltd., a Vancouver-based corporate training and
development partnership. They can be contacted at sunmail@newmangrigg.com
Identifying information in cases cited has been changed to
protect confidentiality.