Healing Post-Tsunami A Challenge
"Meaning makes a great many things endurable - perhaps
everything."
Psychologist, Carl Jung
People returning to work following the holidays have been
digging deep into their pocketbooks to help relief efforts in
South Asia devastated by the Boxing Day tsunami.
The generous response by Canadians has been
unprecedented. Many employers are getting involved, too,
matching donations of individual staff, for instance.
Yet beyond providing financial aid, many Canadian
employees may feel helpless as they attempt to grasp the
full consequences of what it must be like to lose
everything:family, home, children and a sense of future.
Some Canadian employees - those with friends, relatives or
even work colleagues who were in the stricken areas of Sri
Lanka, India, Thailand, Indonesia when the tsunami hit - and
may be dead, or still missing - are feeling the impact
personally.
It can be enormously difficult to carry on when a loved one or
friend is missing. Waiting for news regarding a relative's
safety is hard because the hope of being reunited prevents
grieving from occurring. Being in limbo means living with the
possibility of being reunited and simultaneously the dread of
losing a loved one. To cope, people remain vigilant and
hopeful. Obtaining the support of other family members or
close friends is important while waiting for news.
Others find working or carrying on with their normal routines
to be comforting. People may try to distract themselves for a
break which is normal and does not signify an uncaring
attitude. The desire to seek a missing relative or friend is
never far away.
Some Canadians with relatives in the devastated areas may
have received news of the death of a family member,
colleague or friend. Losing someone forces us to grieve.
People experience a series of tumultuous emotions ranging
from shock, to anger, sadness and later, acceptance. Many
will need time to heal.
This may include going to South Asia, taking time off work or
getting support from co-workers. Talking about someone
missing or lost is important and letting others know about
your worries or sadness is helpful. Obtaining psychological
help can be comforting when people discover that their
experiences of loss are normal.
Many wonder how residents of South Asia, tourists caught
up in the disaster and Canadian residents with relatives or
friends affected will ever recover psychologically even with
support and time to heal.
While the reconstruction and relief effort proceeds,
psychological healing is a huge challenge. For all involved, it
will ultimately center on grappling with the existential impact
of the tragedy.
The task of finding meaning in tragic circumstance has been
tackled by philosophers and spiritual leaders, including Jean
Paul Sartre, Albert Camus, Soren Kierkegaard, Auschwitz
survivor, Viktor Frankl and the Buddha. They argue we all
pick through existential debris when tragedy consumes our
fellow beings.
Borrowing from these thinkers, psychologist Irving Yalom,
explains three ways people cope with confronting their
terrible fragility, sense of meaninglessness and crises of
purpose when tragedy occurs:
Altruism
Many faced with tragedy - terminal illness, internment in a
concentration camp or a tsunami - find meaning in serving
others or trying to make things better. The mother who
brought her children back to the beach after she lost her own
brothers and explained to reporters she must return to
normal "for my children", is one example. Keeping a website
updated to find a missing relative or friend is an important
form of service, while the outpouring of help from the world
after a disaster is another.
Creativity
Yalom observed creative people such as artists,
philosophers, writers, scientists or administrators, find
meaning by creating "something new, something that rings
with novelty or beauty and harmony."
He offers the example of a research scientist turned
administrator who reveled in creating new ideas and
persuading people to embrace them. Yalom noted "work
situations that stifle creativity and turn one into an automaton
will, no matter how high the salary scales, always generate
dissatisfaction."
When people directly encounter tragic events beyond their
control, they have to tap latent ingenuity to fashion an
entirely new life for them selves. This is no small feat, but
for some provides meaning in what seems an apparently
uncaring universe.
Passion For Life
According to Yalom, "the purpose of life is, in this view, is
simply to live fully, to retain one's sense of astonishment at
the miracle of life, to plunge oneself into the natural rhythm
of life, to search for pleasure in the deepest possible sense."
Seeking pleasure becomes an end in itself. People finding
meaning in pleasure make choices based upon whether the
option will lead to more pleasure or, at least, less
displeasure than competing scenarios. Herman Hesse's
character Goldmund, in his novel "Narcissus and
Goldmund", survived the plague by choosing paths leading
to love, altruism and wonder, guided by his desire to plunge
fully into living life, whatever it brings, despite imminent
death.
Those who choose to recover from tragedy in this way can
help revive the spirit of others by refusing to abandon the joy
of being alive - regardless of the circumstances.
Self-Transcendence
Self-transcendence is the desire to strive for something
outside oneself. People finding meaning in this way move
beyond self-interest to reach outside of them selves to care
for others in some fashion. This could be on a large-scale
basis - combating poverty, racism, sexism or environmental
degradation, or in a smaller way - helping one's community
or family.
People find self-transcendence when they devote
themselves to raising a family, participating in a relief effort
or entering politics. Devoting oneself to something larger
enables an individual to step outside his or her own
concerns.
Being altruistic is a form of self-transcendence but the term
can also refer to trying to give meaning to suffering. As
Yalom notes, "survival in extreme circumstances depends on
one's being able to find meaning in one's suffering."
In Frankl's case, surviving Auschwitz gave meaning to his
despair. In the end, he concluded that if there is no hope of
relief from suffering or death, then meaning can be gleaned
from proving one can at least suffer and die with dignity.
While many of us were not directly touched by the South
Asian devastation, we share in the human need to find
meaning in a seemingly uncaring universe. Whether one's
place in that universe is in an office cubicle, the executive
suite, at the United Nations or in a stricken Thai village, the
drive to find meaning applies.
Our desire to find purpose when faced with hardship is an
ongoing need. It is when we are faced with our own or
other's suffering that we realize what Frankl purports is
true - meaning is essential for life.
Dr. Jennifer Newman and Dr. Darryl Grigg are registered
psychologists and directors of Newman & Grigg Psychological and
Consulting Services Ltd., a Vancouver-based corporate training and
development partnership. They can be contacted at sunmail@newmangrigg.com
Identifying information in cases cited has been changed to
protect confidentiality.